Subject: coaching From: GailRobins@aol.com Date: Fri, 17 Jul 1998 22:39:24 EDT

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Robyn's request for coaching brought forth a beautiful and elegant response
from Ray.  Ray, that was marvelously spoken!  I replied privately and she has
requested that I share my email response to her with the group as awhole.
Here it is: 
Gail

>>>>
To:	robynart@wans.net

Hi, Robyn,
Yes, you were around as Stephen and I were forming our relationship - and you
still are - and we still are!!!  (In fact, for clarity, we aren't married yet
- in March. 1999) 

Now, as to absolute wisdom - no way, no how, not me ----- BUT, someone with
experiences and viewpoints with a Wisdom background.......sure..........so,
as of 2 weeks ago I had decided that something had to shift or I was releasing
that little Stevie-fish back into the sea!!!  (and it was very pleasurable to
think of doing the releasing off of a very high bridge somewhere!!!).   Here's
where we went with this:

Stephen and I are both in SELP right now (he as a participant and me as a
coach) -   this is the final piece in a program I began a year ago to review
the entire curriculum and communication program inside of reviewing both
Wisdom and Partnership.  It has been very intense to say the least!!   What is
opening up for us in doing this (Stephen is picking up the pieces he has
avoided all these years) is a greatly expanded facility to stop and return to
"why are we together"  and "what do we want to create by being together".  (I
am noticing my noise that says Robyn is a future Wisdom leader and, Gail, you
are very presumptuous to be talking with her about ANYTHING!! )  So...... back
at the ranch, our hero and heroine took themselves away on a vacation for 4
days - where there was nothing to do (Maine is a great destination for that!)
- and talked for FOUR STRAIGHT DAYS.

Robyn, please get what I just said.......in spite of all the courses and all
the coaching it still took us FOUR SOLID DAYS to wind our ways back into the
experience of who each of us are for the other and what we are about as a
couple!!  And all along, it was clear that we love each other and that neither
of us would settle for something other than a world-class relationship.  I am
a stand for the same for you.

During that long weekend we had to literally examine what rackets were running
the show and how did they imapct the other's unanswerable question and what
was the age of the consequences and what field were we in while we were doing
it all - and when we wouldn't know what else to say,  but there was still
something laying around because we weren't lit up yet, we would take the 3
questions and design something to explore next and then launch ourselves into
that.  And during the whole thing we were consciously aware of moving toward
something incredible - whether we were apart or together.  And, the freedom to
be apart and whole allowed for the freedom to be together and supreme!! 

Going out to your communities is a fabulous step.  I sought coaching before
leaving for our trip, and it proved to be essential.  It only takes 1 person
to upgrade a conversation and I needed to be the one in order to get the ball
rolling - Stephen was oblivious to the magnitude of our troubles (yes, we had
talked, and talked and talked before).    That clearness allowed for me to
initiate the foundation that all the rest unfolded on.  There is absolutely no
doubt that you and Vip can create a future that will surpass your wildest
dreams.   

Hang in there.
I am here rooting for you.
Gail
>>>>

From Sattinger1@aol.com Fri Jul 17 23:57:40 1998
>From Sattinger1@aol.com  Fri Jul 17 23:57:40 1998
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