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InaRuth@aol.com wrote:

> Ina here:
>
> I just returned from two days in Brattleboro Vermont.  My buddy Robin ( a
> friend of 18 or so years) is up at Landmark College (for Learning disabled
> students) for a 7 week course and is now attempting to become a full time
> student (with gross financial exigences) at fifty.
>
> Several things I noticed.  One is that the course flew right out of the
> window!  No joke.  Empowered by nothing!  Nothing said, nothing done.  No,
> that's not completely true.  But remember in SELP we talked about enrolling
> your environment into who you've become?  Well, in this case Robin did a
> better enrollment job, and I became enrolled in our old standing standard
> relationship.  Except for a few conversations, especially one we had right
> before I left.
>
> So it brings to my mind the fragility of the newness of what we're attempting
> or doing here.  I could define it as a failure, or - as is my preference -
> notice the thrown way of being of slipping into a relationship from how we've
> known it to be.

I noticed a similar "fragility" during a conversation yesterday with, (of all
things), the partnership group that has conference calls every Sunday.  I found
myself (not having PUT myself there, like any causality) right in the middle of
attempting to extricate myself from ineffectual reactions to the conversation on
the phone.

Interestingly, though, I didn't stay stuck in the stuckness for long, nor dwell
(for very long)  on monologues nor dialogues that would serve to carry the
conversation forward into the future.  Furthermore, I beat myself up almost none
at all for "falling short".  I'm not finding myself unhookable per se, but rather
unhookable from being hooked...able to get present fast just by not grabbing onto
the current conversation(s).

While I was co-leading the Wisdom Course in Denver, Marjie Parrot and I had a
conversation wherein I asked her how she dealt with those overwhelming feelings
that wash over or overtake us from time to time - she always seemed somehow
unshakable, even in upset.  She answered that she just let her feelings and
thoughts go through - she didn't grab on.  I thought I understood, but couldn't
actually do it.  Now I think this is what she was talking about.  (Incidentally,
she was instrumental in my choice to be in Partnerhip.)

> A powerfull distinction given my son is returning from his
> five weeks in Prague on Saturday.  I know that the man returning is quite
> different from the man who left.  But how?  Stay tuned!
>
> Another thing I wanted to share.  A week ago I went to the bookstore to find
> Hyde's "The Gift" (the reading "assignment").  I ended up buying several books
> including one called "The Gift of the Jews" by Thomas Cahill.  It delineates
> the contribution of the Jews (historically the Hebrews) dating from Avraham
> through the modern times by asserting that the Jews have totally altered what
> was the original concepts of time, life, eternity, etc.  He actually presents
> a good prima facia case.
>
> I then slipped into reading Hyde's "The Gift" and am almost begining to feel
> like I'm reading part two.  Course both books are an anthropologists heaven.
> (Cultural anthropology was one of my undegraduate minors).  What I've noticed,
> not as a new distinction, but as a new conversation (flipping into Cat 3 for
> me?) is how hard it is for most people to receive.  I spent a good part of the
> 29 hours Robin and I were together helping him write a paper, training him to
> write papers and use things (we take for granted) like the dictionary and
> thesaurus on Microsoft Word.  He expresssed (literally) overwhelming gratitude
> as I was about to leave.  We sat and had (a true) Cat 3 conversation about how
> he'll show someone else how to use the dictionary and thesaurus and pass on
> the gift.  And then someone will show me how to do something.  And the gift
> gets passed on again.
>
> So all this reminded me of the Hyde book.  So it's not seashells.

I dont' get the "it's not seashells," ref - what's it mean?

> It's
> technological know-how.  And the book got me to thinking about the culture I
> was brought up in as a Lubavitzer Jew.  Your own culture is hardly ever
> distinct for you until it contrasts with the world.  It was - in spite of
> being transported to the US - still very much a peasant culture.  And I
> thought of all the gift exchanges.  For example, no matter what my finances
> while I was raising the children, we always had one night of Rosh Hashonah (if
> not two) and of Passover and Thanksgiving here  with one or two dozen people
> (which for the uninitiated is an enormous among of work, time and money).  It
> was unthinkable not to do so!  Why?  I always said it was so that the children
> will have their tradition.  But in context of the Hyde book, I believe I was
> living out a gift tradition so engrained that I did not/could not distinguish
> it.  And there are so many other gift exchanges as I look at my life.  Child
> care with friends.  Exchanging thoughts and giving feedback on theories
> colleagues are developing.

Fascinating - synchronicity AND empowered by every thing you do.

> So I'm look at the whole thing in a totally new way.  And I'm wondering what
> inquiries you all have been having about this, and for that matter, what
> insights or distinctions you've had.
>
> I recommend the Hyde book to everyone - even those of you who haven't read any
> of the others.  It's occured to me that those of us in the UK may have a
> difficult time getting their hands on the book.  If that's true, let us know
> and the rest of the team will get them to you.
>
> Well, that's it for now.  My thoughts are racing.  I obviously can't be
> accused of being succint!
>

 Thanks, Ina

Much love,
Robyn

> love and kisses,
> i



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InaRuth@aol.com wrote:
Ina here:

I just returned from two days in Brattleboro Vermont.  My buddy
Robin ( a

friend of 18 or so years) is up at Landmark College (for Learning disabled

students) for a 7 week course and is now attempting to become a full
time

student (with gross financial exigences) at fifty.

Several things I noticed.  One is that the course flew right out
of the

window!  No joke.  Empowered by nothing!  Nothing said,
nothing done.  No,

that's not completely true.  But remember in SELP we talked about
enrolling

your environment into who you've become?  Well, in this case Robin
did a

better enrollment job, and I became enrolled in our old standing standard

relationship.  Except for a few conversations, especially one
we had right

before I left.

So it brings to my mind the fragility of the newness of what we're attempting

or doing here.  I could define it as a failure, or - as is my
preference -

notice the thrown way of being of slipping into a relationship from
how we've

known it to be.
I noticed a similar "fragility" during a conversation yesterday with,
(of all things), the partnership group that has conference calls every
Sunday.  I found myself (not having PUT myself there, like any causality)
right in the middle of attempting to extricate myself from ineffectual
reactions to the conversation on the phone.

Interestingly, though, I didn't stay stuck in the stuckness for long,
nor dwell (for very long)  on monologues nor dialogues that would
serve to carry the conversation forward into the future.  Furthermore,
I beat myself up almost none at all for "falling short".  I'm not
finding myself unhookable per se, but rather unhookable from being hooked...able
to get present fast just by not grabbing onto the current conversation(s).

While I was co-leading the Wisdom Course in Denver, Marjie Parrot
and I had a conversation wherein I asked her how she dealt with those overwhelming
feelings that wash over or overtake us from time to time - she always seemed
somehow unshakable, even in upset.  She answered that she just let
her feelings and thoughts go through - she didn't grab on.  I thought
I understood, but couldn't actually do it.  Now I think this is what
she was talking about.  (Incidentally, she was instrumental in my
choice to be in Partnerhip.)
A powerfull distinction given my son is returning
from his

five weeks in Prague on Saturday.  I know that the man returning
is quite

different from the man who left.  But how?  Stay tuned!

Another thing I wanted to share.  A week ago I went to the bookstore
to find

Hyde's "The Gift" (the reading "assignment").  I ended up buying
several books

including one called "The Gift of the Jews" by Thomas Cahill. 
It delineates

the contribution of the Jews (historically the Hebrews) dating from
Avraham

through the modern times by asserting that the Jews have totally altered
what

was the original concepts of time, life, eternity, etc.  He actually
presents

a good prima facia case.

I then slipped into reading Hyde's "The Gift" and am almost begining
to feel

like I'm reading part two.  Course both books are an anthropologists
heaven.

(Cultural anthropology was one of my undegraduate minors).  What
I've noticed,

not as a new distinction, but as a new conversation (flipping into
Cat 3 for

me?) is how hard it is for most people to receive.  I spent a
good part of the

29 hours Robin and I were together helping him write a paper, training
him to

write papers and use things (we take for granted) like the dictionary
and

thesaurus on Microsoft Word.  He expresssed (literally) overwhelming
gratitude

as I was about to leave.  We sat and had (a true) Cat 3 conversation
about how

he'll show someone else how to use the dictionary and thesaurus and
pass on

the gift.  And then someone will show me how to do something. 
And the gift

gets passed on again.

So all this reminded me of the Hyde book.  So it's not seashells.
I dont' get the "it's not seashells," ref - what's it mean?
It's

technological know-how.  And the book got me to thinking about
the culture I

was brought up in as a Lubavitzer Jew.  Your own culture is hardly
ever

distinct for you until it contrasts with the world.  It was -
in spite of

being transported to the US - still very much a peasant culture. 
And I

thought of all the gift exchanges.  For example, no matter what
my finances

while I was raising the children, we always had one night of Rosh Hashonah
(if

not two) and of Passover and Thanksgiving here  with one or two
dozen people

(which for the uninitiated is an enormous among of work, time and money). 
It

was unthinkable not to do so!  Why?  I always said it was
so that the children

will have their tradition.  But in context of the Hyde book, I
believe I was

living out a gift tradition so engrained that I did not/could not distinguish

it.  And there are so many other gift exchanges as I look at my
life.  Child

care with friends.  Exchanging thoughts and giving feedback on
theories

colleagues are developing.
Fascinating - synchronicity AND empowered by every thing you do. 


So I'm look at the whole thing in a totally new way.  And I'm wondering
what

inquiries you all have been having about this, and for that matter,
what

insights or distinctions you've had.

I recommend the Hyde book to everyone - even those of you who haven't
read any

of the others.  It's occured to me that those of us in the UK
may have a

difficult time getting their hands on the book.  If that's true,
let us know

and the rest of the team will get them to you.

Well, that's it for now.  My thoughts are racing.  I obviously
can't be

accused of being succint!

 
 Thanks, Ina

Much love,

Robyn
love and kisses,

i
 

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