Date: Fri, 07 Aug 1998 20:24:45 -0500
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Vip -
Were you drunk when you wrote the last two messages? I found them to be a
misuse of this forum, crass, inappropriate and grossly out-of-keeping with who
you say you are as a Landmark Leader (for starters). Please vomit elsewhere.
Robyn
Vip Vyas wrote:
> Listening, Speaking and sex-appeal
>
> I find that when I'm leading the SELP or when I'm speaking in any group/
> community situation that the "I" gets much more present (or accountable) to
> what is being said. It's clear for me that the people in my program are
> expecting me to say something that they haven't heard before - almost as if
> they are expecting me to reveal some secret about life. I find that in these
> situations that I'm very very present to the language that I'm speaking.
> Perhaps, sex appeal is being present to the listening and speaking in
> groups - probably explains why so many women in my SELP want to "fuck my
> brains out."
>
> Vip
>
> PS I thought I'd add some juice for you Andrew :)
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: robyn jamison
> To: InaRuth@aol.com
> Cc: LHanawalt@aol.com ; LaserKate@aol.com
> ; Carole.Pelchat@state.ma.us
> ; artbcaus@tiac.net ;
> sbauter@juno.com ; sauter@thecia.net ;
> REALSteve@aol.com ; ANTMARIA@aol.com ;
> wware@world.std.com ; edgb@igc.apc.org
> ; lucinda@bostonbookreview.com
> ; wjcadogan@ra.rockwell.com
> ; GailRobins@aol.com ;
> SNHemail@juno.com ; camacho@tiac.net ;
> kclark@nh.ultranet.com ; chrismcd@ma.ultranet.com
> ; janemerm@tiac.net ;
> JanetKyle@juno.com ; steve.carey@gartner.com
> ; karens@ayermoving.com ;
> Victor_J_Hoffman@fleet.com ;
> rfulcher@us.lhsgroup.com ; sawins@netonecom.net
> ; gammonw@ibm.net ;
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> ; TCGitles@aol.com ;
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> ; SandySings@aol.com ;
> Heather_S_Cannon@armstrong.com ;
> BarbaraH@gate.net ; SGross9577@aol.com
> ; goostvog@csc.com ;
> vip@ectg.demon.co.uk ; ab@e24mp.demon.co.uk
> ; R.E.Ballard@usa.net ;
> kohlmayr@snet.net ; lois@ctnet.com ;
> dburns@pica.army.mil ; mekroska@nmia.com
> ; sfrank2@csc.com ; KEVJE@aol.com
> ; Ldemian@aol.com ;
> 73163.1747@compuserve.com <73163.1747@compuserve.com>; bewens@mindspring.com
> ; kl.casto@rocketmail.com ;
> kcai@greenmail.net ; CIBOROWSKI@a1.tch.harvard.edu
> ; LDREWG@aol.com ;
> Stan_Carpenter@ibm.net ; ahndy@best.com
>
> Date: 07 August 1998 18:47
> Subject: Re: Accountability for listening and speaking
>
> >Dear All -
> >
> >There is a proverb, Chinese if I'm not mistaken, that the guardians of the
> truth
> >are Paradox and Confusion.
> >
> >In the inquiry we termed Alien Research in PE, we come upon the revelation
> that
> >what we find out is actually about ourselves.
> >
> >It is paradoxical that in finding out about others, I'm whom I discover and
> that
> >in that discovery, I come upon "We." Listening and reactions included.
> >
> >Love,
> >Robyn
> >
> >InaRuth@aol.com wrote:
> >
> >> Ina here:
> >>
> >> A few responses.
> >>
> >> To Brian on Accountability: Yes. I find the discussion slippery and
> hate
> >> slippery conversations.It seems to me that some definitions of
> accountability
> >> sounds more like promises and agreements than a state of being. Perhaps
> >> accountability is both. I am accountable in my business for a lot of
> areas,
> >> no promises, no agreements. Just the buck stops here - actually for
> >> everything. Period. I had one discussion with a major customer who was
> >> unhappy with something one of my employees did. I thought he would go
> into
> >> shock when I told him that as CEO, I'm responsible for everything that
> goes on
> >> in my business. Believe I went up a few more notches out of that one.
> >>
> >> So what if accountability can be both a way of being (stands) as well as
> >> doings (promises, agreements and actions)?
> >>
> >> We would then need to distinguish "No Adult As possibility without
> >> accountability" Right now, as in the conversation at my homework group,
> >> that's the quandry.
> >>
> >> Janet and Jean,
> >>
> >> While I much appreciate listening as a skill, I also appreciate anyone
> >> attempting to communicate and distinguish something in inquiry. Few
> words can
> >> be marvelous - being succinct. There is a time and place for it.
> >>
> >> I'd like to share one of the best tools I learned from Werner and out of
> >> leading Introductions to the Forum and being a Seminar Leader. Werner
> used to
> >> call it "mining the gold". It's a listening skill referred to in other
> words
> >> in my field. You can see it occuring in seminars with really good
> seminar
> >> leaders. The basic principle is that you listen to what someone is
> saying,
> >> sift through the dirt to get to the gold. What I discovered was
> necessary to
> >> do that was to totally suspend my judgements and evaluation. To have an
> >> already always listened - designed - that there's gold in them there
> words -
> >> and my job is to listen to find it.
> >>
> >> Listening is a trained skill. It is not simply being passive or allowing
> >> words to wash over oneself. In fact, listening, as an active co-creative
> act
> >> in the communication process is a more demanding action than the
> speaking. In
> >> our culture, we tend to focus on the speaking - only 50% of the action.
> So,
> >> while I can empathize that some people in this group occur some ways for
> me
> >> while others occur other ways, it's usually my judgement and evaluations
> that
> >> get in my way of listening everyone keenly. Now the question is, does
> >> everyone deserve to be listened to keenly? Only if they're human. If
> they're
> >> adroids, no.
> >>
> >> love and kisses,
> >> i
> >
> >
> >
From robynart@wans.net Sat Aug 8 00:18:05 1998
>From robynart@wans.net Sat Aug 8 00:18:02 1998
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