Subject: Goodness, Truth, Beauty From: LHanawalt@aol.com Date: Sat, 15 Aug 1998 08:03:31 EDT

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>From Larry:
The language of dialogue
To co-creators
For a breakthrough in Self-expression

My Dad died yesterday.  Mom was with him.  She said it was as if he finally
figured out how to go.  He had been talking about "getting out of here," and
getting "up there" and trying to climb out of bed as if that were the way.
When he died it was extraordinarily peaceful.  He just stopped breathing, then
soon his heart stopped  beating.  No effort, no struggle, no agony.  We feel
blessed as a family that we had the last few months with him and with each
other to "say everything," and that it didn't stretch out.

I don't try to talk about this much, but I have felt the presence of my
grandparents since their death.  My Dad is present as I type these words.
It's as if we incorporate and give expression to everyone who has gone
before--and to everything, all of it.  Who I am is my grandfather and my
father; who I am is all of humanity, all it it.  And that is so for each of
us.

The tragi-comedy of our lives is that most of the time we live and act with
little or no "inkling" of that.

One way of looking at the "drama"--such as Jean's being hurt by Vip's
demonstration that his brains must have been fucked out long ago--is the
Wisdom distinction about whether the eternal speaks to each of us primarily
through Truth, Beauty, or Goodness.

Those of us in the Goodness camp will prefer that nothing be said or done
which could break anyone's sense of belonging.  We are the "make nice" folks.

Those of in the Truth brigade will be less sensitive to how others feel, more
committed to saying what's there to be said.  

The Beauty-lovers must wonder what all the noise is about.

Based on that distinction, here are some observations:

Janet is so Relationship (Goodness) oriented that it took her a long time to
tell the truth about her impatience, so long that it had a kind of snottiness
or bitchiness about it when it finally got expressed.  (And it was perfect, of
course.) 

Vip will say what is lying around to be said, and let Relationship be damned.

Jean has good Goodness collapsed with moralistic and undistinguished middle
class standards about what must and must not be said or done.  (Jean is a
powerful stand for Goodness, and is sorting out what works from what doesn't.)

Ina is so appreciative of and absorbed in Beauty that she doesn't listen very
well to the "in-between" and is prone to pontification.

Brian is Goodness and Beauty, and prefers truth to be a matter of inquiry,
discovery, exploration.  "Calling a spade a spade" isn't his style.  I read
his responses since Janet's comment on "orations about the obvious" as
defensive, as if they had been aimed directly at him.   Brian, is your current
"mathematical" form of expression a way of taking yourself away: "ok, if you
want brevity, I'm going to take my prose and go home"?  

Andrew is Truth and Beauty, and sounds to me to be willing to write people off
who are less evolved.

Gail is Goodness, Truth and Beauty.

Lucinda, you are a mystery to me.  Your message on D.H. Lawrence on fucking
was just plain wierd.  It didn't seem to me to speak to any issue that had
been raised; and a note apparently in defense of fucking which avoids saying
the f-word strikes me as hilariously hypocritical.  My guess is that you are
Beauty first, truth second, and less at home in the Goodness/Relationship
realm.    

Then there are those of you who brag about deleting these damn e-mails without
reading them (based on whether you have liked that person's earlier
contributions, I guess).  This sounds like self-righteous voyeurism.  You will
judge without participating.  Why don't you have your name removed from the
list?  Some of you won't be reading this, of course, or will have deleted it
before you get to this paragraph, in which case I'm perfectly free to say
"fuck you" without consequences.  Talk about "already always listening."  You
have been wasting your time and money on these courses.  Please explain to me
the point of keeping yourself on a list so that you can complain about it.
The next time I hear it, I promise to make sure you get deleted--at least from
my version of the list.

Ray Fulcher is an off-the-scale Goodness guy.

Seth, your contributions have been favorites of mine because they stretch me
to see if I can think what you are thinking.  You are at home in the company
of Socrates and Plato--and you wouldn't hit it off with Aristotle.

I wish we heard more from Kate, Shirley, Lynn Casto, Kathy DiBenedetto.
Robyn's joining us has raised the level of discourse.  Sue Bauter's posts
early on struck me as preachy, condescending--and that tone has completely
disappeared from her "speaking."  Sue, I thought your sharing notes from the
course was perfect, valuable, a brilliant way of bringing focus to the
conversation.    

This is "growth and development" for me.  I know that "relatedness" is handled
for me.  I am loved.  You all have room for me to say anything--whether or not
you like what I say.  I prefer listening, being still, but I think I have also
used that as an excuse not to say things that are lying around to be said.
And those are the things which can lead us into new territory.

My Dad was a straight talker, and you will probably be hearing more of "him"
from now on.  Maybe I'm climbing the ladder from Goodness to Truth to Beauty.

Love,
Larry

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