In-Reply-To: 
Message-ID: 
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII


I have addressed the Exon bill several times.  These tactics are not new 
folks.  There are several facts that must be faced:

Any organization of people which includes kids will have the possibility 
of pedophiles, incest, and risk.  You wouldn't pick your babysitter off 
the street.  It might be possible to set up a subnet with a reverse 
firewall (keeps the member hosts from getting into all but limited 
"family only" hosts).  This hardly requires legislation.  It does require 
a complete substructure equivalent to the corporate LAN.

Children are naturally curious about their own sexuality.  If you 
completely protect them from pornography they will still find something 
to trigger sexual fantasies.  I had never seen a naked woman (picture or 
actual) before I was 11.  I got hot looking at the Lingerie ads and 
dresses in the Sears Catalogue.  Cindy Crawford in the buff wouldn't do a 
thing for me.  Rosanne Arnold in the Corset and Stockings had me looking 
4 or 5 times :-).

Pornography and incest have little to do with each other.  As I said, I 
hadn't seen a woman naked, yet I was incested from the time I was 3 years 
old (by the other girls on the block).

There is one level of damage which is done by the incest itself, but the 
bigger issue is the guilt and shame that get associated with sexual 
feelings when they begin to develop.  I had two cousins who killed 
themselves because they couldn't communicate about the feelings they were 
having.  They only knew that if they continued to "lust in their hearts" 
they were going to Hell.

Incest survivors (those who survive their own puberty after surviving 
incest) often cope with the internal conflict of hormones and guilt/shame 
through drugs, alcohol, indescriminate sexual practices, or even putting 
themselves in the position of being forced (sometimes going out of 
control and becoming rape).

I have spent 15 years working with other incest survivors.  The issues 
are pretty predictable.  Many refer to themselves as "recovering 
catholics" or "recovering babtists".

The most dangerous part of the incest is the "secret".  There are those 
who would go to the grave before they would tell even a professional 
tharapist.  They bring that to their relationships, and even to their 
marriages.  Many survivors can be married for years before they can even 
share the basics of their "secret".  The secret could be as simple as 
wanting to wear certain clothing or wanting their partner to wear certain 
clothing.  Ironically, once the "secret" is out and accepted, it begins 
to loosen it's "death grip".  This is why 12 step programs such as 
Alcoholics Anonymous spend 1/3 of their "Inventory" on sexuality issues.
(Reference - Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous).

There is nothing wrong with religious expression, even fanatical 
fundamentalist religous expression, when it is an expression of one's own 
spirituality and sexuality.  I have great respect for those who 
voluntarily choose celebacy.  On the other hand, I know that trying to 
"shut down" any organization that serves others and helps them to recover 
from the consequences is tantamount to a death sentance.

Should we shut down A.A., N.A., ACOA, and all of the 12 step programs 
because they don't strictly enforce a moral code and proper language?
Perhaps we should just let them rob us until they can buy that eventual 
overdose.  There are those who do believe this is the best course.

	Rex Ballard
	Standard & Poor's/McGraw-Hill
	Opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect
	the Management of the McGraw-Hill Companies.



From rballard@cnj.digex.net Mon Jul 10 00:55:29 1995
Status: O
X-Status: