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	Rex Ballard - Director of Electronic Distribution
	http://cnj.digex.net/~rballard


On Wed, 21 Feb 1996, Cyndi wrote:

> Let me get this straight and my opinions are *mine* only.  I was not
> referring to anyone who found themselves in a situation as uniquely 
> unfortunate as yours. 

Think I'm unique?  Check out the "Fathers Menifesto Home Page",
there are about 15,000 NCPs in situations like mine!  There are more 
who just haven't read the list yet.

> I was referring to the original person who 
> posted that a man should not pay child support if he didn't want the
> child because the woman was the one who got herself in the mess in the
> first place.

What was the commitment structure that existed when the child was 
concieved?  If she considered him a "one night stand" or a good way 
to make the rent payment this month, what NOW gives her the right to 
turn that "trick" into a 20 year claim on 50% of his after-tax income.

> That was what I was calling "archaic" and "primeval" 
> mentality.  DNA proves parenthood without a doubt, no need for locked
> rooms and chastity belts.

In other words, some prostitute could seduce the entire NFL, the 1st 
infantry, and 30 dope-pushers, but the lucky winner of the DNA 
lottery would get to be a slave for the next 20 years, while all of 
the others, including her regular boyfriend, would be left to enjoy 
her charms for almost nothing (relative to the $120,000 the winner 
gets to pay).

Sounds fair to me?

> I sympathize with your dilemma.  I hope you get to spend time with
> your children often.  "My" ex hasn't seen our five year old since last
> August and "doesn't" pay his child support.  Go after him?  Every time

I have seen my children for 10 hours in the last 4 years, at my ex's 
request (it threatens their relationship with their stepfather).

I haven't missed a child support payment in 6 years.

> we try to garnish his wages he simply quits his job and moves on.

I have to keep moving to get pay increases to meet the increasing 
insurance and day-care costs.  I would rather be in Colorado, but I 
couldn't make enough to pay the rent after child support.

> But it's mostly his loss--we have a beautiful son.




From rballard@cnj.digex.net Wed Feb 21 23:48:25 1996