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	Rex Ballard - Director of Electronic Distribution
	Standard & Poor's/McGraw-Hill
	Opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect
	the Management of the McGraw-Hill Companies.
	http://cnj.digex.net/~rballard


On Wed, 19 Jun 1996, Fathers' Manifesto wrote:

> 
> 
> On Wed, 19 Jun 1996, Elaine McGirr wrote:
> 
> > > 
> > > I ask a local psychologist about the difference in the way men and women
> > > argue issues and was surprised to hear her say:
> > > 
> > > "Men are taught to be straight forward and honest in their representations -
Much of this is a function of the conditioning of boys when they are very
young.  Boys are encouraged to settle their disputes through direct
conflict.  When a boy starts hitting a girl, adults start to interfere.
When a girl starts to hit a girl, the adults stop the conflict.  When a
boy starts hitting another boy, the adult supervision lets them "fight it
out".  It is considered to be something like the "pecking order" among
adult birds and mammals.

Males who have physical or health limitations such as asthma, epelepsy, or
congenitle heart disorders are protected in much the same way girls are
protected.  Some men never outgrow their "fight it out" stage and end up
getting violent with their spouses.  Most men however learn that they can
ask for what they want and usually get it.  Men also learn that they can
earn status and respect by fulfilling requests of stronger or mor powerful
men.  They can give the school bully their lunch, they can help the
football player with his science project, and they can help their boss get
a promotion.  If the weaker male refuses the stronger male's request,
there are consequences.  The bully will beat them to a pulp, the football
team will slash his tires, and the boss will give him the work of a junior
clerk and put him under the supervision of his own subordinates, or fire
him.

> > > it is an integral part of their self image. Woman are taught to be coy and
> > > sly and manipulative - they aren't physically able to get what they want by
> > > being 'stand-up,' open and honest about it."

Because adults will nstinctively protect a girl, she quickly learns that
she can get what she wants by provoking a conflict and at the moment of
retaliation seeking the protection of an adult or authority figure.  As
she gets older her protectors will be the football fullback, a senior
executive, or a family court judge.  She could try to chop his anatomy off
(Loreena Bobbit), and he would try to "Work it out".  If she wants out,
she can just get him mad enough to slap her once or grab her hard enough
to leave bruises, and then she will walk the children to the classroom to
"protect them from the brutal maniac who gave her these bruises".

> > Hmmm, and women who are "open and honest" must be suffering from "wandering
> > womb" syndrome or at least neurasthenia. While men who dissimulate are
> > either villians a la Richard III or, even worse, sexual inverts!

Actually, it comes from "Feminist Conditioning".  Often in the feminist
era, the feminist mother would just let their daughters "fight it out"
with the local boys.  Since "Adult intervention" was not as reliable,
these girls had to fall back to the strategies of weaker boys.  In some
cases, they even learned how to fight dirty and win.  As I was growning
up, I knew several of these "Tomboys".  Not only were they more agressive
and confident, they were also more honest and streight-forword.

> > Private replies:       Elaine McGirr 

> The above statement by the psychologist conforms to the different ways 
> men and women on this forum respond to questions, doesn't it?
> Regards,
> Rick

	Rex Ballard.



From rballard@cnj.digex.net Thu Jun 20 15:59:08 1996
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