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California Fathers' Summit
This conference was called by Governor Wilson because of the
widespread concern about crime, educational failure, drugs, social decay,
etc. and the perception that these are connected with family breakdown, in
particular with the erosion of the weakest link in the family, the
father's role.
Anthropologist Margaret Mead has emphasized that, unlike the
mother's role, which is biologically based, the father's role is a social
creation. Male dogs and cats have no reproductive importance after their
minuscule sexual performance is over. The emergence of a similar male
rolelessness in the inner cities was becoming apparent some decades ago
and is now becoming obvious in the larger society.
At present the law appears to be less concerned with how to
strengthen families than with how to provide for ex-families or
fatherless families created by illegitimacy. It is becoming better
understood that these fatherless families breed most of the criminal and
underachieving classes. Many politicians think the problem is one of
punishing the male criminals generated by such fatherless
families--building more prisons, hiring more police, passing
"three-strike" laws, squeezing money out of ex-husbands ("deadbeat dads")
for the purpose of subsidizing ex-wives or ex-girlfriends and "their"
children.
Success in providing for these fatherless families means there
will be more of them, that fathers will become still less needed and less
motivated, and in consequence there will be further weakening of families
and more of the resulting pathology this conference is concerned about.
The weakening of male motivation means less male productivity, less male
willingness to undertake family responsibilities, more fatherless
families, more fatherless children, more crime, less economic growth. A
society which cannot motivate its men to be family providers will
deteriorate, as ours is doing. A society which threatens husbands with a
fifty percent divorce rate combined with virtually automatic loss of
children and home and property is forfeiting this motivation.
It is too little understood how male motivation is related not
only to family and social stability but to the economic growth of
society. Thanks to family stability and the male motivation it created,
the twenty years following World War II were a period of astonishing,
indeed unprecedented, growth. America's industrial plant, already the
wonder of the world during the war, doubled during those twenty years,
the GNP grew 250 percent and per capitainutes" ran a program called "New
York Is Falling Apart," showing streets sinking into the ground, bridges
cconvenienced and dead."
Judith Wallerstein says only half of the male students she
followed in her study of divorced families completed college, forty
percent of the young men were drifting--on a downward educational course,
out of school, unemployed. When so many of them have seen their fathers
expelled from the homes they bought for their families, when they
themselves face the same fifty percent chance of divorce and the y wonder
why they should work as their fathers and grandfathers did in the years
after the War.
If you ask a man why he works at his job, he will bring out his
wallet and show you pictures of his family. This motivation has been
weakened even for the lucky fifty percent who still have families. Males
have lost confidence that society wants them to be heads of families
rather than providers for ex-families. This is what men hear when
President Clinton tells them, "We will find you. We will make you pay."
Most men still would like to be fathers, but our society is
giving them little assurance that they can have families--that they will
be able to spend their own paychecks to provide for their own families
rather than to subsidize ex-wives and pay for other things judges and
bureaucrats deem proper.
A judge will try a divorce case in the morning and place the
children in the mother's custody. He will try a criminal case in the
afternoon and send a man to prison for robbing a liquor store. The
chances are three out of four that the criminal he sends to prison grew
up in a female headed household just like the one he himself created that
morning when he tried the divorce case. He can't see any connection
between the two cases. The reason he can't is the time lag. The
children he placed in the mother's custody were perhaps toddlers who
would not yet rob liquor stores or breed illegitimate children. But they
will grow older. They will become teenagers, boys capable of committing
crimes of violence, girls capable of breeding illegitimate children. And
then the chickens will come home to roost.
In 1980, crime increased by a startling seventeen percent. L.A.
Police Chief Daryl Gates was flabbergasted. Nothing in the economy, he
said, could account for such an increase. What did account for it was
the huge increase in divorce and illegitimacy in the mid-1960s--plus the
anti-male bias of the divorce courts which changed the father headed
families into female headed families. The judges who placed the children
in these families hoped they could force the fathers they exiled to
subsidize the families they destroyed--to pay to have their children
brought up in female headed households where they were more likely to be
abused, neglected, impoverished, delinquent and sexually confused. They
would like to blame the fathers for their own inability to create an
alternative to the family.
The welfare system is equally responsible for subsidizing
(therefore creating) female headed households. Like the divorce court
judges, welfare bureaucrats would like to make biological fathers pay.
They fail to understand what Margaret Mead explained, that fatherhood is
not a matter of biology but a social creation. If these (merely)
biological fathers are to pay, they must become (or be allowed to remain)
real fathers in Mead's sense, men with a role such as that taken away
from ex-husbands by the divorce court. They need to be given better
motivation than "We will find you. We will make you pay." This latter
motivation will not create real fathers. Real fathers must be created,
as Mead says, by society. Our society is doing the opposite--destroying
millions of fathers through its divorce courts and its welfare system.
Much of the social breakdown now going on is the result of the
attempt to find taxpayer-funded alternatives and ex-husband-funded
alternatives to fatherhood, the creation of which must always be one of
society's primary responsibilities. The anthropologist Bronislaw
Malinowski said that if the family ever ceases to be the pivotal
institution of society, we shall be confronted with a social catastrophe
compared to which the French Revolution and the Bolshevik Revolution are
insignificant.
There is no substitute for it. We should stop trying to find one
and recognize that the weakness of today's family is the consequence of
society's failure to support the father's role, the role most in need of
society's support. The biological weakness of the father's role is not a
reason for throwing fathers out of the family but a reason for
strengthening their role within it.
A Georgia judge named Robert Noland routinely places children in
the mother's custody when he tries a divorce case, and justifies what he
does by saying, "I ain't never seen a calf following a bull. They always
follow the cow. So I always give custody to the mamas." The reason
Judge Noland never saw a calf following a bull is that cattle don't live
in two-parent households. If we want to live like cattle, Judge Noland
has the right idea.
--Daniel Amneus, Ph.D.
Men's Defense Association
Contributing Editor, The Liberator
From fathers@soho.ios.com Thu Jun 8 16:48:56 1995
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