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On 3 Nov 1994, vicky de monterey wrote:
> In Washington state, one parent must be designated legal custodian even
> if both parents expect to share all responsibilities. This means that 
> child support payments are technically due payable by one parent to the other
> (custodial) parent.
> Since my daughter's father and I split the days we care for her nearly 
> equally (he has her six out of 14 days), even though I am the custodial
> parent, I have opted not to require him to pay me the support that our 
> parenting plan indicates. It infuriates us both that the laws are still so
> punitive toward men who actually wish to be equal parents, just because 
> men have tended to be less involved or responsible in the past.
RED ALERT, RED ALERT!!!!!
Even though you are being nice to him, the state could still go after him 
for back support should you ever need public assistance.  Have him pay 
you the full amount and then pay him back what you think you should pay him.

> I'm considering becoming politically more active in this regard, am
> wondering if others are experiencing similar discomfort with laws that
> actually try to penalize men who stay involved with their children.
It is interesting, the courts actually penalize men who are responsible 
for their children and stay involved.  A the same time, the court rewards 
boyfriends, disabled hubbies, and other deadbeats who can find life with 
a woman receiving child support from a successful and responsible man 
quite comfortable.  So they have to babysit for a few hours a week.  It's 
only until the oldest hits age 12 (at which time the child does not 
require direct parental supervision).

> It will be difficult to improve the lot of children of divorce while the 
> courts use only negative incentives for keeping parents responsible and
> involved.

It will be difficult to improve the lot of children of divorce while the 
courts and laws punish responsible and succesful NCPs and reward CPs for 
irresponsible choice of step-"fathers".

	Rex
 

From rballard@cnj.digex.net Tue Nov  8 06:07:45 1994
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Newsgroups: alt.child-support