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On Thu, 17 Nov 1994, Alan Yasutovich wrote:
> > 
> > On Tue, 15 Nov 1994, Alan Yasutovich wrote:
> > > > Alan,
> > > > 
> > > > On Mon, 14 Nov 1994, Alan Yasutovich wrote:
> >
> > I have been thinking about what kind of commitment might really make a 
> > difference from the standpoint of the church actually making a difference 
> > in the drugs/gangs/crime cycle of the street.
> > 
> > If the church was available as a community center, 7 days a week, with 
> > structured activities every afternoon/evening and saturdays as well as 
> > sunday service, after-service, and evenings, you could actually make a 
> > difference in the streets.  Do you know of any churches that have made 
> > that level of commitment?
> 
> 	Yes, actually.  But I don't want to go there.  It is called
> 	"The Boston Church of Christ".  I "attended" for a while.
> 	They are very controlling.  In a very sterilizing way. You'd
> 	be luck to have an evening off if you subscribed to their
> 	way of doing things.

Yes, Church of Christ is one of those fundamentalist churches.  But you
can begin to see that when you compare what the gangs provide (Average 120
hours/week support and negative supervision) and compare it with what the
church provides (Average 4 hours/week).  Is it so surprising that the gang
members outnumber the church boys in the inner city? 

> 	When I was in high school an evangelist came to our church
> 	(from another town where I no longer attend).  I'll never forget
> 	him.  He quoted, "you can't legislate morality".  And to that
> 	extent I'd have to disagree with your statement above.

Oh, I HOPE we don't try to legislate morality.  That's what got us into 
this mess in the first place.  On the other hand, we need to provide an 
alternative support system for children who don't have the benefit of two 
(or even one) commited parents willing to take the time and resources 
required to keep the kids motivated in a positive way.

> 	There is a little girl (9) across the street who is more of
> 	a daughter to me than my 17 year old son.  She is friend with
> 	my 5 year old daughter.  Her and her 2 brothers practically
> 	live there.  She calls me and my wife mom and dad.

She's lucky to have someone like you in the neighborhood.  Where are her 
parents?  What would happen to her if she were visiting a child molester 
instead of you?  What would happen to her if she were running with the 
gangs instead of visiting your daughter.  I hope you know how much of a 
difference you are making in that little girl's life!

> 	Time actually spent together bumping into one another in the
> 	bathroom in the middle of the night is the time that counts.
> 	And when time together is forced or contrived, it becomes just
> 	that.  A farce.
Remember when your kids were scared of the lighning and wanted to sleep 
with you?  What happens when kids are scared by the gunfire and have no 
one to sleep with and feel safe with?

> 	... But the presence of activities where kids could
> 	socialize in a clean, safe, supervised manner was better than
> 	hitting the streets looking for the same at night outside
> 	in public.  I didn't think of it that way then.  But it
> 	really was true.

There are places where kids can do that.  But for every kid who makes it 
to the youth centers, there are five more running in the gangs.  Guess 
which ones will have the most children?

> 	Also, growing up I played the accordian.  Quite well.
> 	(see how fast and accurate I type?)  Went to bands, lessons,
> 	competitions, and practised for hours a day.  Again, I didn't
> 	look at it that way at the time.  But whenever I was bored,
> 	I could go upstairs and play for hours until I was exhausted.
> 	Thinking back, it was GREAT.  I killed a lot of time doing that.
> 	In a positive way.

I played clarinet, sang in the choir, did the Radio Club, got a ham radio 
license.  I have to pay to have my kids bussed to after-school 
activities.  My son's trumpet lessons cost $30/week, my daughter's 
brownie uniform and fees run $20/week.  The average expenses to keep my 
kids in structured environments run an average of $50/week/child.  I 
actually pay about $100/week/child for total day-care costs including 
summer activities programs.  If the kids didn't have two parents, the 
costs would be about double.  They go to school with kids who DON'T get 
that supervision.  I can only hope that they won't offer him something we 
aren't providing.

> > > 	Certainly a reality that I have had no problem avoiding.
> > You proposed a solution to the cycle of gangs and street crime.  I spent 
> > a significant part of my life in the nice, safe suburbs of Denver. 
> > I got into their 
> > reality and gained a new respect for those people.
> 	I can imagine.  And it is true that people "don't minister to
> 	those people".  But on some level those people are unreachable
> 	for most.  The Bible teaches, "don't cast your pearls before
> 	swine".  You can take that any way you like.  It is not a moral
> 	judgement.  But more of a practical one.

Unfortunately, while you might not want to play with them, they WILL want
to play with you.  They will be trying to enlist your son and daughter,
they will be "borrowing" your car, they will be draining your wallet in
the form of taxes and insurance for AFDC, Law Enforcement, Insurance
Claims, and other "Entitlements".  Your tax dollars subsidize the drug
lords.  Your tax dollars subsidize the gangs.  Your insurance premiums are
largely influenced by uninsured motorists, intoxicated drivers, and car
theives.  Your health insurance premiums are influenced by drug abuse,
drug rehabilitation, and drug induced emotional/mental disorders. 

When you ignore the problem, it doesn't go away.  In fact, since middle
class families postpone pregnancy and limit family size to the number of
children they can support, the poor are also outbreeding the middle class
about 3 to 1. 

> 	We have a fool here at work who had a bandage on his hand for
> 	about a month.  He took a bet to put out a chimney lamp by
> 	suffocation.  Some things are best not done "at home by non
> 	professionals".......

Part of the problem we have with the gangs/drugs/teen pregnancy... is 
that there is an entire industry committed to a program of treatment 
which is at best, ineffective.  Much like the typing schools which fought 
to keep the Shole's keyboard in place long after the typewriter evolved 
beyond the gravity fed keys, the social services community advocates 
programs which interfere with any effective treatment.  Over 90% of all 
recovering addicts go through 3 30 day treatment programs at $600/day.  
They relapse withing 90 days.  Less than 5 percent are treated through 
some form of program which includes sprituality (God) and rigorous 
inventory.  The recovery rate for them is over 90%.  For most this is 
religeon or hard-core 12 step work.  Notice, religeon IS effective, for 
those who don't already have a negative history with religeon.

> 	And I think that, from the beginning, you looked at my
> 	knee jerk comment about teens with tunnel vision. That is
> 	why this all started.  Maybe this is a good case in point
> 	about not going into the dangerous streets to save people.
> 	I made the wrong (mere) comment to the (wrong) person (you)
> 	who happened to have that background and you took it to heart.
> 	If we were on the street I might have had a 2x4 up my ass.

No, by now, one of my friends might have given you a bad case of HIV to 
take home with you and share with someone you love.

The main reason I responded to you was that I could see that you really 
did care!  You would rather stay at home and let someone else fight in 
the trenches - nothing wrong with that - you just sent support to the 
wrong team.

> 	Well you correctly said that it's too late for them.  (Yet
> 	not as individuals.  Just as a class).

As I mentioned before, there are already more of THEM than there are of 
US.  Unless we take aways their voting rights, they will soon be solving 
OUR problem of "selfishness" the way they did in Germany, Russia, and China.

> 	Gangs are on the street simply because it gives them many
> 	things that any person craves.  Power.  A group to be with.
> 	Something to do.  Somewhere to go.  And it covers over 
> 	their insecurity.  Insecurity that was created by parent(s)
> 	who didn't set bounds and do the exact things I am saying.
> 	Parents who did not provide a place where they KNEW they
> 	were wanted, needed, and loved.  The basic stuff.

Good point!  More often, the parents were disciplinarian terrorists, 
resorting mostly to the rod (or fists or electrical cord) and rarely to 
the hug.  These parents set boundries which constantly shifted and 
tightened.  In a poverty home, even speaking can be a corporal crime.

When Purity reacts to your reccomendation for discipline, she can't 
imagine a parent who says "If you hit your sister, I will spank you" and 
actually follows those rules.  In Purity's world, such a contract would 
be followed by a beating because she spoke to her sister.  Her parent had 
had two more drinks by then and just wanted to hit someone since she 
couldn't hit the real perpetrator.

I was lucky.  I grew up with the parents who everybody else wanted.  When
my friends had problems I knew my parents could work it out with them. 
They kept their word.  You couldn't shock them into a knee-jerk reaction. 
They were actually great parents.  My vulnerability came when I was not
with my parents and forced to choose between trying to regain friends who
had excommunicated me or accept the instant acceptance by the gangs that
came when I used their drug of choice (Alcohol, later other stuff). 

> 	So they look elsewhere.  And they will laugh at you when
> 	you go there because why should you care about them any
> 	more than anyone else who doesn't?

There is a way to pierce the armor.  When you listen to them, without 
making them wrong.  When you share your own failures and pains, then they 
will listen to your successes.  You don't have to be poor, just human.

> Alan

	Rex Ballard.


From rballard@cnj.digex.net Mon Nov 21 16:50:41 1994
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