In-Reply-To: <37cdbd$b5i@newsbf01.news.aol.com> 
Message-ID: 
References: <37cdbd$b5i@newsbf01.news.aol.com> 
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII
Status: RO
X-Status: 


There are so many subtle distinctions in the world of B&D/S&M ;-).

Generally, a submissive is someone who is giving consent to each act as 
it occurs.  At any point, the consent can be withdrawn.  Continuing with 
any specific act after the consent is withdrawn constitutes rape.

A slave becomes a slave as a result of a written agreement of consent.  
Typically, the slave has stipulated any restrictions or limits, but often 
agrees to serve other masters or mistresses at her Masteress' request.

Each has it's own appeal, and it's own responsibilities.  If at some 
point, a slave is actually being abused, the contract can be voided.
On the other hand, the slave usually becomes a slave in the anticipation 
of the unexpected.

As always, the dynamics of inversion always apply.  The 
"slave/submissive" is actually the one in control, he or she may enjoy 
having the boundries pushed, but when the limits are hit, it is the word 
of the person who is "helpless" that finally determines the limits.

Conversely, the Master/Mistress is actually serving the slave.  The best 
doms know how to tease and please to create the optimal blend of 
emotional and physical excitement designed to produce intensely 
satisfying experiences.  To quote "are leaders are but trusted servants".

I actually started as a top when I was 18.  When I was 21, I learned the 
ropes as a bottom.  The irony is that it actually made me a better top.  
I knew the experience of fear, anticipation, lust, frustration, and 
extacy all at the same time.  I became a better top as a result.

Personally, I prefer to switch.  I know I can better trust someone who 
knows that I could get revenge if they go beyond the limit.  Conversely, 
I want to take them to the edges, but not beyond their current limits, 
because I want to have the same courtesy.  There is mutual trust in such 
a relationship.  Besides, after I've teased and pleased my bottom for a 
few hours, possibly preceded by 36 to 48 hours of verbal foreplay, I know 
she is going to really relish her "revenge".

As a top, there is a tremendous sense of power and satisfaction, 
especially as my partner begs for the first touch of the clitorus or the 
first orgasm.  There is a sense of accomplishment when a partner with a 
reputation for being insatiable finally cries "enough" after 3 hours of 
continous orgasms.  It takes concentration, patience, and sensitivity to 
be a really great top.

As a bottom, I very much appreciate a truly great top.  I have even 
enjoyed some truly sensational experiences as a slave.  In my case, the 
slavery agreement was implied in the marriage.  Each time I would find 
myself helpless with my wife about to do something which seemed to 
completely violate my boundries (anal rape, forced impregnation, extended 
bondage without stimulation...) it became one of the most delightfully 
memorable experiences of my life.  I even bacame multiorgasmic as a 
result of a woman who wouldn't stop after my first orgasm of the night.  
Even though it hurt at first, I came out the other side having 20 or 30 
dry orgasms over the next hour.

In each case of slavery, I had a fundamental relationship that left me 
with the responsibility of creating a context and interpretation which 
made a situation which could have been tantamount to rape into one that 
would become an intensely satisfying experience.  Sometimes it took a LOT 
of imagination.

(At liberty again)
	Debbie/Rex



From rballard@cnj.digex.net Tue Oct 18 03:11:00 1994